A second handshake? That's about as useful as Jeremy Shockey in this Super Bowl.

In my amateur opinion, I’m going out on a limb by declaring that this was by far one of the greatest Super Bowls ever played. Hands down. I mean, it had everything short of a Janet Jackson nipple from being right up there with Broadway Joe’s guarantee and Adam Vinatieri’s kick. Which kick, you ask? ALL OF THEM!
There was an undefeated team, and the underdog no one ever thought could win. There was one of the best defensive efforts (for both teams) that I haven’t seen since Ray Lewis’ lawyer asked the judge “Well, what do you mean by murder, persay?” And yes, there was Plaxico Burress’ much publicized injury involving injury caused by simply falling in the shower. That’s not rare, is it? I mean, we all remember that time that The Fridge popped too many hoagies and choking right before Super Bowl XX, needing to be revived right before game time only to regain consciousness for a short time to take away Walter Payton’s defining touchdown of his career. Awesome call, Ditka.
Anyways, with a season that saw the highest scoring offense, an even higher Ricky Williams, a game played in London, the Patriots going for perfection, the Dolphins going for rock bottom, Brett Favre playing like he was ten years younger (which is still pretty old), the Browns having relevancy, and Travis Henry not knocking up some woman, I’d say it was a pretty good season. But alas, there remains one question to be answered. And I think I know what you are thinking, and the answer is: NO. Let me explain…

NO, Michael Strahan hasn’t made his orthodontist appointment…
and…
NO, I still have no idea how European chicks find walking boots attractive…
and..
NO, for the last time, I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW TOM COUGHLIN’S FACE HOLDS TOGETHER!!!

But rather, I feel the question on everyone’s mind is:

Is Bill Belichick more of a poor sport than a 5 year old tee-ball player who just realized all of the Sunny D has been consumed by his back stabbing teammates?

For a nice change of pace, I will answer this very simply: No.

I know, I know. People think this guy is classless, heartless, and possibly worthless. But I’ll tell you what, any one of us would’ve done the same exact thing.
“But Jim, there was one second on the clock! He should’ve shaken Coughlin’s hand again!”
Are you crazy!? It’s not like he didn’t already shake Coughlin’s sticky, damp, “fresh-from-the-Gatorade cooler–of-success” hand once, which also involves that walk of shame to midfield amongst all the jubilant millionaires and that goddamn pretentious confetti!!! Get over it people! What was Bill supposed to say for the second shake? Something along the lines of:

BB: “Wow Tom, congrats man. I know I just shook your hand, like, I don’t know, thirty seconds ago. But I just wanted you to know that I’m not upset or anything watching another Manning boy rip my heart out with another kneel down, but I came out here again, just to say congratulations…again. Even though I just said it. I didn’t want it to look weird. You know, with me leaving not to watch the last 0:01 if the game. I mean, (laughing) could you just imagine man! Me? Leaving? HAH! Anyways, get up on that stage tiger and try not to stare too much at Bradshaw’s dome! Hit me up later bro!...”

This has to be one of the most disappointing moments of this man’s life, and he is, despite what Colts fans say, human. Imagine having that seventh grade math teacher put that F test on your desk, take it off, then put it back on saying, “Nope, you aren’t dreaming, you really failed the hell out of this one.”

Or imagine that first girl you asked to the dance saying, “No, I’m already going with Sven, that cut foreign boy who always wears those sweaters.” Then, as if you couldn’t be more crushed, she comes back up to you and says, “You know, I wasn’t kidding about that whole Sven thing. Better luck never.”

Or even imagine that baseball coach saying, “It was a close decision, but I’m afraid you didn’t make the team.” walk away, and then turn around to say, “It’s really because you throw like a girl and smell terrible. And because I hate your stupid face.”

While these are hypothetical (God I wish. I didn’t smell that bad in my opinion), it is about the level of failure Belichick is feeling, and that one second had to just be the icing on the worst cake ever. (like carrot cake or something)

Get over it people. Billy and Tommy played fair (for this game at least, cough!) and that is the end. Stop making such a big deal about the handshake. The clock should’ve just been run down anyway and the Patriots defense should not have had to endure another play. I mean, an unprecedented SECOND handshake would’ve been more awkward than a middle school dance.