Hopefully I Don't Hit the 'Rookie Wall'

This is not your ordinary blog. No, not in the least bit. To call this writing a blog is to proclaim the Statue of Liberty merely an “action figure”. No, this writing will change the way you look at sports, and revolutionize the very way you wake up in the morning.

Scared?

I would be too if I thought that my mind would be blown to the extent of forgetting my own middle name. So all I would suggest to you is write down your birthday, pin number, and any allergies you may have because after coming into this world, this information will seem extremely,…oh, what’s the word I was looking for….secondary.
So I would suggest disconnecting your phone line, tighten your belt up, and if the cabin looses pressure, please put on your mask before assisting others. Because my friends, this is no ordinary blog. No. This is History.

Okay, now that that is over with, I guess I should explain a few things. For example, I am not under the impression that I defecate excellence with each bowel movement, with each successive movement even more profound and extraordinary than the last. Basically, this is a blog, and I feel it is necessary to write about certain things in sports that no one has really touched on. I figure I’ll update this thing about once a week at the very least. I’m not lazy, but rather just insanely busy with saving kittens from trees, helping old ladies cross the street, and volunteering at local strip joints. This is purely meant for entertainment purposes for a few friends and family members. However, if you like this and feel compelled to tell your family and friends, or if you would like to comment on anything that I have said, then go right ahead. Just a few precautions before you get started:
-If you don’t laugh when someone gets hit in the pelvis region with a whiffle ball bat, golf club, or motorcycle on America’s Funniest Home Videos, this blog isn’t for you.
-If you think mascot on mascot violence isn’t funny (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkbKjtuNJhQ, just watch it) then this blog might not be for you.
-If you feel that there wasn’t enough Tony Romo/Jessica Simpson coverage, this blog may not be for you.

and finally…

-If you think that the American Sports scene is perfect the way it is,
with millionaires making even more millions with each passing season while a schoolteacher makes barely over the minimum wage, and

With the average price of a hot dog at a game nowadays at $12.00, and

With the fact that Shawn Merriman made the Pro Bowl in the same season he was suspended 4 games for steroid use…

Then this blog may not be for you.

For the rest of us, the fans, who yearn for a time when sports can just be played on the field and these millionaires stop bitching about their “touches” or their “minutes” or their “respect” and just PLAY THE GAME!!!

This blog is perfect for you. I’ll update this in a week. In the meantime, try and survive the way I do: with top plays, yelling at your drunk friends on whether or not one particular player or team “sucks”, and dosing off the 2 am repeats of SportsCenter.