Rockets win 22 in a row, despite Yao being held scoreless, reboundless, assitless past 10 games

We all thought that when Yao went down late last month, the general consensus around the league was, “Well, that sucks. Looks like T-Mac will never make it to the second round.” Say whatever you want, but the only people that thought that the Rockets would continue their winning ways were the Rockets and the sole member of the Luis Scola Fan Club…

Okay, that was my opening paragraph and headline for my draft of this weeks post. I thought it was up to my standards of writing and something that I wouldn’t mind being identified as my own. In short, if that opening paragraph came up to me in 20 years and said, “Are you Jim Leonard? You are? That’s crazy because I’m Kate Hudson’s son and she finally revealed to me that you are my father,” I would be proud and accept that opening paragraph in my life. Just to give you guys an example of how I feel about that opening paragraph.

The post was originally going to reveal how I thought the Rockets’ streak was a crazy feat in sports and I was eventually going to have quotes of people who have had notable streaks in sports and their thoughts on what the Rockets are doing. For example, I was going to have:

The Widow of Joe Dimaggio(56 game hit streak): “The record is nice, but try doing it during the Great Depression…pansies.”

That would have been entertaining and fun and I’m sure it would provide some relief from the stress of school, your smelly roommate, or the anxiety that can be attributed to Hillary Clinton running for President.



However, I decided to get a little curious about that sentence I wrote in reference to the “Luis Scola Fan Club.” I wrote that because I wanted to purely emphasize that no one really believed in the Rockets, not to spark an adventure that would change my life. It was this adventure that has changed my view of the world and the Chinese language in general. (that will totally make sense later. trust me). It was this adventure that I wish to share with you hoping to make a positive impact on people’s lives. I didn’t plan on changing you guys or the world forever with the content of this post. But as I have learned in this life you cannot pick your time to be a hero, and I guess my time has come on this damp Monday afternoon by which I am still undergoing my personal recovery mode from a Saturday night whose plot line resembles something like a blank MadLibs sheet.

And now, my crazy afternoon Luis Scola adventure…

So I was getting curious about the last sentence of that opening paragraph that I love so dearly and a thought dawned on me:

“Could such a player of Scola’s status actually have a fan club? I mean, it is 2008 and you can find just about anything on the internet these days.”

This then lead me to Google “luis scola fan club” on a whim just thinking that if there is a God, this greasy Argentinean will have some site run by a creeper in Buenos Aires who also sells stolen items from the home of Manu Ginobili on eBay. On this Google quest, I did not find a site filled with high quality pictures, articles, and flashy highlight montages, which left me a little downtrodden. And I hate being downtrodden. Almost as much as I hate being browbeaten(actual word). However, I DID FIND A SITE THAT OFFICIALLY CALLS ITSELF “Luis Scola’s Fan Forum, at http://www.talk-sports.net/nba/fan.aspx/Luis_Scola.


Thank you God.



So, I naturally joined the site, hoping to chat with other members who just can’t get enough of the Scola. They accepted my application, which only took a name and location. Now I was in! They really aren’t too picky about who the members are, just as long as you bring positive vibes and an obsession with the greatest Argentinean player in the history of teams that have won 22 straight games. The site features great user comments that are just a hoot. I actually got in on the fun and posted the last three comments posing as two different people where one called for the lovechild of Scola and Manu to be the second coming of Christ, while the other guy freaks out a little. Feel free to contribute to the conversation after you join the fan club. It’s definitely the place to be. I was in awe that there are people who actually comment on this page and are Scola maniacs! The site again is http://www.talk-sports.net/nba/fan.aspx/Luis_Scola. (This should be hyperlinked, unlike last posts where you would have to copy and paste it to your browser. I’m not going to lie, I feel so lame for using the terms ‘hyperlink’ and ‘browser’ in the same sentence, let alone on the same day. I’ll get over it though) For example, one user said:

“MVP ROOKIE OF THE MONTH!!!! (February)
GO SCOLA…GOOOOOOOO!!!!”

And…


“Mr Scola, you're my rookie of the year, just bought your jersey last sunday. Your first start as a center againts Utah.
You might see me in the 106 section, I saw how hard you try to push up the team, and I screamed histerically when you fell down try to blocked the big giants in Utah team in the 4th.
My best wishes for you from me and my husband, we officially your big fan now, though my husband a bit jealous since I wear your jersey everynight ;)
And one more thing, it seems you're a little bit lucky if shave the beard before the game. :p”
Those made me laugh at first, but then apparently this fan club is a family affair which was made apparent with this post:

“NO WAYYY. HE PLAYS BETTER WHEN HE DOESN’T SHAVE!!!!
By the way, I bought the first jersey with his name, jajaja
I’m his uncle

These we all good. And I was just having a dandy time reading these to validate the fact that there are some people in this world who are truly rooting for this guy. But then I saw this comment, and it gave me hope that I may not be alone in this quest to get everyone involved with the Scola man on this post:

http://luis-scola.blog.sohu.com/ (you should be able just to click on this to get there. Sorry if it's messed up.)


Could it be? Could someone have beaten me to the punch and is attempting to start a coup of his own with an obsessive Scola website? I visited this site and realized that "Scola Mania" was bigger than me, or anyone else for that matter. This website officially became the one of the greatest things that I have ever laid eyes on, second only to this hand-dryer I used at Wendy’s today that seemed to have a leaf-blower engine in it and dried my hands instantly, which can be seen here on the right. I timidly explored this website like a haunted house in a Scooby Doo cartoon, not knowing what was going to come next. I was also legitimately scared because I also thought for some reason that my computer could get some sort of virus just by being here. For the record, it's fine to visit, and I would recommend it to friends and family alike. But if you want a handy guide on exploring all that is the Scola Mania website, I’ve compiled a lit of tips for you (if you are working on a PC, the site loads really fast. but for some reason, if you go to the website on a mac, the site's main page just perpetually loads, which is why you need the buttons):

- If you click the little man icon on the left, it will take you this wired profile page where it appears that you can write a message to either Scola or someone in the future by clicking on the pencil on paper icon.

-If you click on the booklet icon next to the little man, it takes you to a Chinese blog post that for some reason has nowhere to click in order to get the full post. I realize that even if I could access this post, I still couldn’t read it, but I’m just saying that it makes this site look really unprofessional.

- If you click on the TV icon, you are taken to some Chinese kids social networking account, which is some sort of Myspace of something. It just makes me feel akward.

- If you click on the film strip icon, you are taken to this video highlight page I’m assuming. It takes forever to load, which I’m not patient enough for. It seems as though this site is a work in progress and in need of a full time staffer. I’m finding a way to submit my resume.

-If you click on that little orange rectangle by Scola’s head, you are taken to my new favorite blog. I think this is where the creeper in Buenos Aires airs his unconditional love for Scola, Manu and the Rockets. I cut-and-paste a paragraph into FreeTranslation.com and it was a delightful read. This is so getting a bookmark.

So there you have it. My crazy adventure featuring Luis Scola. Special thanks to Luis Scola’s uncle, the nation of China, Lance Armstrong, and that creepy lady in section 106 who commented in the fan forum.

Scarred? Me too.
Confused? Right there with you brother.
Inspired? Your welcome.

Brett Favre, Nintendo 64 Legend, retires.

Brett Favre, Nintendo 64 Legend, retires

I liked Brett Favre. What’s not to like? Who wouldn’t love that good ‘ole boy from the South that could make something out of nothing, illustrated by his sometimes unorthodox shovel passes that were essentially 5-yard ‘hail-mary’ flips to his halfback when everything, except the completion of the pass, went completely wrong. Favre was a consistent sports figure in my life that you could always count on for his rookie-like exuberance, that chinstrap that hadn’t been updated since the 70’s, his awesome, yet seemingly unfair Wrangler commercials as he is shown at the end playing a pickup football game. I also like the shot of him in a huddle drawing up a play. I could just see him in real life saying, “Okay, just run a Z-14 stunt play action 45 curl. On one,” and everybody just nodding. I know you guys have seen the commercial on TV, but I was able to find a copy of a different version of that commercial, which went unaired, in which they pick the teams for this epic two-hand-touch battle. It went something like this:

1st Captain Larry: Umm, I’ll pick….uhh….let’s see……Brett!

Brett: Awesome Larry! Wow, first pick! Don’t worry, with these Wrangler Relaxed Fit Jeans, I’ll be just like one of the guys.

Larry: Well, until you break my hands with a pass. They’re pretty zippy.



Brett: Zippy? Who in the hell uses zippy? I was thinkin’ more like ‘bad-ass’ or ‘legendary’. But zippy?

Larry: Sorry Brett.

2nd Captain Tom: Well since Dan Marino isn’t walking onto this stereotypical farm field, or out of that stereotypical red farm truck, I’m beginning to think these teams are a little unfair.

Larry: Tough titties Tom. Should’ve gotten first pick.

Brett: Easy Zippy, let’s not get into a fight right before the game. I mean, I’m wearing Five Star Denim Jeans from Wrangler on my farm. Because as well all know, everybody who talks diff’rent has a farm, a truck and a few dogs, as this commercial presents.

Tom: If my jeans weren’t Wrangler jeans, the greatest goddamn jeans in all the land, I’d come over there and rip your kidneys out and sell them on the black market!

Narrator: Wrangler…Real. Comfortable. Jeans.


While the commercials were and his toughness were great, my favorite quality about Brett Favre was that he had the guts to get flushed out of the pocket and rocket the ball 70 yards down the field as if you were playing NFL Blitz and you have three seconds left before halftime.


Even if he overthrew the receiver on these plays, he always had that expression after the throw as if to say, “I can throw this ball like a Vortex with whistles on the side. I’ll smile now, but I would have no problem throwing out my arm on the next pass as long as it embarrasses you and every member of your family.”
Among all of his accomplishments and all-time records, I think the most important statistic is that he played in SUB ZERO TEMPERATURES that made any viewer at home say, “Dude, eff that! I would never go out there!” I mean, do you think that Peyton Manning could do that? If you do, check his record in Foxboro. Additionally, I feel as though the consecutive start streak made him the only guy in football who actually earned his paycheck. In a true testament to his stability and longevity, I am remembered of one of the first football video games I ever played as a younglin had Brett Favre on the cover which was NFL Quarterback Club 98 on Nintendo 64. Classic.
There were plenty of highlights in this career. I remember when he played out of his mind on Monday Night Football just days after the death of his dad. I remember when he high-fived that referee after a touchdown pass. I remember that divisional playoff game against the Niners, which was a great game, and is remembered most by TO’s touchdown catch with the announcer going, “OWENS! OWENS!” (This was before he was TO, and was ‘Terrell’ who backed-up the likes Jerry Rice and NFL legend JJ Stokes. No, there is no typo there. Rice was a second tier receiver at best. Don’t kid yourself) And while I could go on an on about how Brett is one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time, and how he is a character that cannot be duplicated (despite all those stupid comparisons that Tony Romo receives compliments of anyone that is on ESPN, which annoys me), I would like to focus on a part of Favre’s career that is consistently overlooked, as is true for most athletes, which is:

The athlete movie cameo.

Out of all things God has created, the athlete cameo is sandwiched in between Tostitos Scoops and the iPod on the list of amazing things this world has seen. And Favre was no exception as he had a cameo of his own in “There’s Something About Mary.” While it didn’t make my Top Three Athlete Cameos of All Time, I feel as though a cameo in any movie is the coolest thing an athlete can do besides get paid millions of dollars to play a game and receive more millions for every time he or she wears a pair of Nike shoes or drinks a Gatorade.
The only exception to athletes being cool in movies is KAZAAM featuring Shaquille O’Neal, which is in a category all his own entitled “Top One List of Athlete Cameos that Changed my Life and the Way I Looked at Cinema in General” I realize that the List name is of more length than the list itself but KAZAAM is just that special. God what a great film.

The Top Three Athlete Cameos of All Time

3: Lance Armstrong in “You, Me, and Dupree.”
This brief cameo made me laugh so hard that I’m pretty sure that I lost a testicle in tribute to Lance himself. (That’s not a cancer rip, but rather a testament to Armstrong’s manliness and my admiration of him.) In case you didn’t see this movie, the basic context is that Matt Dillon is imagining Owen Wilson (Dupree) seducing his new wife (Kate Hudson, who coincidentally is my future wife. awkward.) and Lance Armstrong asking Dupree if he needs any butter for this encounter with Hudson. This alludes to Dupree using butter in an unspecified fashion while seducing a young woman earlier in the film. Brief, but terrific.



2: Lance Armstrong in “Dodgeball”
I got chills when I first saw this scene. And every subsequent time I see it. If you don’t like Lance Armstrong, you will now. If this clip doesn’t do the trick, then you are most likely a Communist. I hate to see it go #2, but that shouldn't take away from this scene. I especially like when he says, "Yeah that's me."




1: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar in “Airplane”
Okay, I don’t expect a whole lot of people in this day in age to have seen this movie. However, it is an amazing film and it just goes to show you how far this country has come in terms of politically-correctedness, whether that is good or bad is your call. Anyways, the basic outline is that Kareem is a co-pilot on this plane. This is definitely a movie you need to see before you die.



Well there you have it. My Top Three Athlete Cameos of All Time. If you have any suggestions or problems with this list, let me know. While I think I did a damn good job, I realize I am a little biased to like myself…and KAZAAM.

Editor of 'Jim's Sports World' reportedly hopes to be "As famous as that shifty Asian guy from American Idol"

Okay you guys, I have never been one to toot my own horn. In fact, I have no idea where my horn is because I toot it so infrequently. But, as all guys know, whenever we have a brush with celebrity, we need to milk it for all its worth. Especially when you are on ESPN NEWS! This past weekend, I visited longtime friend and notable alumni of Cherry Creek High School Luke Schafer at Drake University in Des Moines, Iowa. Now I know probably what some of you are thinking:
1.) Why would you go to Des Moines?
2.) Is Luke really a notable alumni?
3.) Did you sit next to any Amish people or skinheads on your journey?

The awnser to all of these questions are:
1.) For the view,
2.) Not really,
3.) Yes to both. The Amish guy’s name was Neal, smelled like a form of BO I never knew existed (because the Amish don’t have access to deodorant or workable noses) and we talked about how he hides a radio under his bed and listens to George Strait at night. He also likes to drink Jack Daniel’s and, I quote, “Get fucked up and lay in the grass and watch the stars.” TRUE STORY! On the other hand, me and the skinhead didn’t talk…but he looked like a LeRoy from my observations. I mean, what was I supposed to say, “So…you’re a Hitler fan huh? How’s that going? Want some Chex Mix I bought from the vending machine?”

But anyway, back to not tooting my own horn. Well, on my visit to Drake I saw the No. 20 Drake Bulldogs take on the Shockers from Wichita State. Yes, you heard me right. Drake is 20th!!! (Oh, and the mascot for Wichita gives me a nice belly-laugh as well. HA! Shockers! Too good, too good.) Well, while there are many things I could address, like Drake being the best story in college basketball with being picked to be 9th in the Missouri Valley Conference to winning it, I am instead going to talk about my ONE SECOND OF FAME!!!

Yes, you heard me right. If you go to this link, you will see me on the right and Luke on the left three rows up behind the fat girls wearing blue crowns while Adam Emmenecker goes into the crowd. We aren’t sure what we were yelling or pointing about, but we look pissed. But before you go to the site here are some instructions so you don’t miss this great moment:

1.)GO TO THE LINK
http://sports.espn.go.com/broadband/video/videopage?videoId=3272483&categoryId=2459792

2.) LOOK AT THE TIME ON THE VIDEO TO THE LEFT OF THE VOLUME THINGEE

3.) WAIT UNTIL THE FOURTH CLIP WHEN EMMENECKER GOES INTO THE CROWD

4.) STOP THE VIDEO WHEN THE CLOCK READS 1:34. (not 1:33 or 1:35, you will miss it.)

You will see two guys on the right three rows up looking insanely awesome. I couldn’t put the video online because ESPN doesn’t let you download the videos like YoutTube. I’m sorry for the inconvenience, but you should just focus on not letting this new found fame get to my head. I’m thinking long-term on this whole “fan in the stands” movement I got going on for me.

Residents of Nevada County said teen's stunt was 'More lame than the Great Depression'

Here are the ingredients for this week’s blog:
1.)Some psychopath in Reno who is under the impression he is athletically gifted.
and…
2.)Me stuck for four hours at the Kansas City Greyhound Station. Let’s pray I don’t try crack for the first time because its insanely cheap and I need to prove to these people that I’m just “one of the guys”.

Alright, I promised earlier that I would touch on this subject a few posts ago, and me being a person of my word, I think I can arrange for that. I have been following this story for about a month, and now there has been a huge break in this situation. And since I have some free time on my hands the stars have obviously aligned for me to sit on a bench and write this while a guy with a few teardrop tattoos below his right eye looks over my shoulder. (This means that he not only went to prison, but HE KILLED A FEW GUYS WHILE HE WAS THERE! In retrospect, they should have just given him their fruit cocktail. I know you don’t get all your vitamins without it, but you gotta make sacrifices in the joint.) In case you have no idea what I’m talking about, here is the story as it stands thus far:

A senior at Fernley High School outside of Reno named Kevin Hart signed his letter of intent at an all-school assembly in front of a few media outlets to play for the University of California, Berkeley over the University of Oregon.

-This normally wouldn’t pull national headlines, EXCEPT THESE SCHOOLS HAVE NEVER RECRUITED/MET/SEEN/ this kid! This created a few questions in my mind when I heard about this story initially, such as:
-If that wasn’t an official letter of intent Hart signed, then what exactly did he sign? Did he just type this thing up himself? Where did he get those hats that he had on the table?
-How will this kid handle a semester of high school? Even the kids who don’t speak English are going to give you crap for this.
-How do you plan on making any money after high school? I say this because you are now known as “That kid who lied, then lied some more.” I know that if I was hiring at the local Dairy Queen I would hire the guy with the ankle tracking device over you. At least if this guy calls in sick I can look up where he is. With you, it’s a real toss up and I don’t know if I can trust you.

This creates a natural conflict. I mean, how can you play for a Pac-10 powerhouse if the coach isn’t aware that you exist? While coaches are humans who make mistakes, I do not think you can Jedi-Mind- Trick your way onto the roster big guy. Could you just imagine if he actually went to the first practice at Cal:

Hart: “I’m glad to be playing football for you this season Coach Tedford.”
Coach: “Who are you again?”
Hart: “I’m Kevin Hart, sir. From Fernley? Oh, I think I know what happened. You saw my recruiting tape and it probably blew YOUR MIND! Right? Am I right?”
Coach: “Hart….Hart. Umm, well I don’t see you on my roster. So that means only one thing?”
Hart: “A typo?”
Coach: “No, it means that you have five seconds to get out of here before I get every burned-out, methed-out, HIV positive hippie bum roaming the streets of San Francisco and tell each and every one of them that you have a bag of Jerry Garcia’s ashes up your cornhole and the first one to find it gets three hits of acid and the opportunity to be my starting holder against UCLA this weekend. Do I make myself clear?”
Hart: “Oh coach, you crack me up. Like that time you sat in my living room and told me that funny joke right before offered me a football scholarship to play for you. Remember?”
Coach: “ONE….TWO.”
Hart: “Okay, I guessed you called my bluff. So I guess this goodbye, coach?”
Coach: “THREE…..FOUR.”
Hart: (running as fast as an untalented fraud form the Biggest Little City in the World can)

Hart then claimed he was tricked by a man who said he was in talks with the universities, and that he was the victim. However, when it came out he was a liar and asked to provide information for this supposed “middle-man” Hart could not provide a name, phone number, or address for this guy. It now appears that this “middle man” is either invisible or has incriminating photos of Hart. You never know these days.


A police report is filed to find this man, but Hart then confesses the whole thing was a desperate try to play D-1 football. Way to come forward, Kevin, but it probably would have just been better to buy NCAA Football 2008 and just create a player with your name. (I do it all the time. It is the only time I can have biceps and a barbed wire tattoo.) C’mon, go wild with it, Kev! You could give this digital “you” top score on the speed but also make him have a rocket for an arm. OH! And “you” could have a visor, too! It seems weird, but would you rather dominate college football in your basement or be possibly facing charges of filing a false police report. It’s your choice, but I would rather lead Fresno State to another NCAA title (I took them to the Sugar Bowl in '04. It was insane) while only throwing to a player inspired by a cross between Champ Bailey and Jesus while we share the MVP award, than going to court. Call me old fashioned.

Obviously, without the coaches hearing about this kid, there is no way he is going to play football there. Additionally, judging by how smart this stunt was, I do not feel as though he makes the admissions requirements for the University of Missouri-Rolla let alone such prestigious state institutions as Cal and Oregon. This making Mr. Hart the biggest liar since Rafael Palmeiro stood in front of congress saying, “I have never, ever, used performance enhancing drugs. Except for Viagra, which totally affects my performance. You know what I’m talking about Senator McCain.”

It now comes out last Thursday that Hart is now filing a $20,000 defamation lawsuit against the Lyon County School District citing that the whole station was blown out of proportion, and that they are, “Trying to make [me] a scapegoat in the embarrassing hoax.” I don’t understand this. He? Wants money? It’s obvious that this kid doesn’t think things through…at all. The only thing the school district did was believe this kid and invite media people over to the school and called an assembly. Just a quick piece of advice: when you make your school look stupid, and there is video evidence of it, you aren’t sitting pretty.
And the worst part of this is, Hart has a lawyer, Ken McKenna, who actually took this case. This guy is a real piece of work when he said, “Kevin really did pull off, I guess, one of the greatest pranks on Fernley High and the school district and the community of Fernley.” The greatest prank on Fernley High? What was the last senior prank? Did someone let three hookers loose in the hallways numbering them, “1, 2, 4,” so everyone is looking for the #3 hooker? I’m just saying, whatever happens in Reno obviously stays there.
McKenna then went on to say, “The sad part now is that some adults don’t like being embarrassed and they want a scapegoat. They want to hang it on somebody rather than laughing it off and saying ‘got me’” No, that isn’t the sad part. The sad part is that you find a way to dress yourself every morning, let alone found a way to pass the Nevada Bar Exam. I think a lesson can be learned here:

If you are stupid, do not get someone even stupider than yourself to try and help your situation out. It only leads to crushed dreams and Maury Povich telling you “When it comes to three year old YoLanda, you ARE THE FATHER!” Cue the black lady yelling “I said you donnit! You so stupid!”

The bottom line here: Hart lied and deceived a bunch of people, including the police department. The difference between this and most “senior pranks” is that you aren’t supposed to lie to the cops and make up imaginary people. Take whatever comes to you Kevin, and man up for what you did.